I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
