Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
