I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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