Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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