Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
