I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
