Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
