went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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