No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
