You're my little dorito
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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