If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
