Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
