I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
