Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
