I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
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