The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
