i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
