We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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