So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My vagina just recognized that song.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
