Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
