my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
