All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
