I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
