The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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