So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
