she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
