If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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