it was like fucking gandolphs beard
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
