I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
