dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
they're like a gay fantastic four
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
