So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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