yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
