your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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