Do you still have your period?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
