Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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