I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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