she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
