WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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