You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize