U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
