Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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