Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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