I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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