Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
