You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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