I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
