dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
