If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
