I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
how do you play pong handcuffed?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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