why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
