At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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