He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
