not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
