I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
